As of right now...

At 4:00am, ive come to realize that im not satisfied with my life right now...some of the choices that ive made within the past few months were so fuckin stupid that im sitting back and wondering why? like why am i botherin with people that wont be benefial towards my life? why keep fuckin someone who doesnt even love me and i cant see a possible future with him?...its all been a waste of time and it ends here. i need to fix this and go down the right path before its too late. i just want to be able to hold my own and be stable..mentally,physically,emotional,and financial and most people in my life arent giving it to me.I FINALLY ADMIT THAT IM FUCKING DRAINED this just isnt working for me so its time for a new game plan...this may cause a change in me but its for the better to make my life better....im tired of doing for people when i dont owe them shit. sometimes my mind drifts off to the thought of what if? in some sort of fantasy world and i need to stop fuckin playin and face certain realities. its natural to be in fear of losing something but if its not benefial towards your life then wtf? soooo here it goes...im ready for Gods blessing and if my future doesnt involve you then so be it....at times i just feel like i only have myself, like im my own breed because people just dont understand and care so today declares a new perception of life...everybody always says "a new me" but i just think thats unrealistic so heres a toast to "a new future" a new beginning to a beautiful end...its time for Saliyha to move on and do me...what can be more deeper than that?...I just hope God keeps my feet elevated on the ground and my head in the clouds...closer to my dreams