i'll always finish last

I cant understand til this day why im always placed on the back burner. Even when I give 100 and these bitches barely give in 50, they get the finest wine and its passed to me once its empty. I smile like everything is okay when its not, but i cry poor stories and countless heartbreaks when no one is around. Nobody has ever loved me and I cant understand why. When all I give is complete honesty and loyalty, while they yank me by my invinsible tie. Pushing my buttons until they are stuck,jammed,and unable to have a reaction, I am left to assume that I am not wanted. I fell in and out of love with my EX, and had several crushes...each leaving me to fall flat on my face. Left in my mouth is a taste of dirt,distater,and disappointment. I have no other choice but to assume that I should lock up my emotions,write down my hopeless romantic dreams, and let them set sail. I want to be able to give the gift that no one else has ever given, I gave myself to someone once before and I was left to cast away and burn, thought I would have learned but I kept going back because that was all I could ever know. Then another shimmied in my life and showed me things that I could only imagine in a novel but after many meetings I still remain single...its partially because im protectin my heart but I knew better to be anyones fool from the start. Darts being thrown at my heart from lies,haters,scavengers that use me. I hope that one day I wont have to wonder if the next person wont use me and abuse me. So until then, here I i sit here, a sweet simple girl, a secret hopeless romantic...ready to be swept off my feet..