THE TIME IS NOW.

Vision once being blurred, I couldn't figure out if I wanted to love. My heart has been selfish because of my past, abusive parents and a relationship I thought would last. Only if my eyes would have caught-on to show me the sense in things, I wouldnt have closed up. I have only loved once, this individual seen through my eyes like no other, now everytime I see him...my heart "runs for cover." It's like, when you gave the first person your "all" what's left for the next? I don't want to dish out left-over emotions and tarnished dreams. So I took three years to rejuvinate myself and to find a new me. Through my journey, I felt as though I was trapped in a box, no air and no light...leaving me to suffocate and blind my sight. A projecter displayed my past...parents who should have loved me but beat me "with care" & if I did something wrong, I was thrown down the stairs. All of a sudden, I felt my legs give in from under me, my leg was broke and all of my scars had reclaimed surface...I was re-living my past within these four walls. The projector then displayed my father & the night where my parents argued and I stayed at his house....he touched me that night. My body then began to hurt much more, I look down to see that my stomach had risen and the projector showed my ex love. Moments of happiness, holding hands, matchin outfits & chains and late nights..I began to smile but then it displayed H.E.R.....His. Every. Reason. to do me wrong. Soon i saw comments & messages from myspace telling girls to "come over to my place." then it fast forward to my face...showin me cry a hurricane. Then displaying the day where I lost a lovechild growing inside of me. I started to suffocate inside the box..my stomach felt kicks..the screen then split showin me pushin out blood and screaming...while he was on the other side fucking some girl as shes moaning and pleading to keep her virginity. The projector then vanished..I screamed for help because all of the emotions from the past were killing me. The baby was coming out, the wounds were re-openin my eyes were drowned by tears & I closed them in fear and got on my bloody knees to pray GOD please show me the way...then my chest caved open and out emerged a light. My body floating from off the ground..Im floating and my body had begin to open displaying pores of light. I cried and pleaded but soon my body begin to heal. This was a sign so I closed my eyes until the process was over. When I felt a sudden hault, I opened my eyes to see me in a field of flowers standing infront of a mirror. It said..."You are ready." The pain I endured from my past help me to heal and my tears help me gain sight for my future. I thought I didn't love myself until now...thought I couldnt love someone else until now...my heart is open...the time is now. I'm ready for love.